Intense Confusion

Family is a matter of the heart to me. If I do not love you, respect you, or care for you deeply, you are not apart of my family. 

Some do not understand that, nor do they want to, however that’s their opinion, their feelings. Just because marriage exists in families, or because you’ve been “apart” of the family for more than 10 years, really truly does not mean that we are FAMILY. IF something happened to you, would I be upset?; I would be upset for the loss of life within the Universe, but I would not cry for my loss. I would do so for those who did love you, for those who considered you family. 

All of that being said; why the hell do you think you can speak to me of things that you both know nothing of, and have no business in as it is? What an awkward position you put me in, asking about the marriages of those around me, as well as my own marriage. I would relish seeing the look on your face if I turned around and started inquiring into your marriage that you’ve had for 20+ years, just to find any dirt or gossip. I would never be invited back to a family function ever again, and if I chose not to give a shit, I’d be ridiculed and slandered constantly. 

SO, family… is a matter of the heart; I can share with them all my dreams, fears and parts of my heart and soul that very few actually get the chance to embrace all of that. 

I have so many things I need to get off my chest, but even if I try to put fake names or made up scenarios, the biggest issue is that I won’t be true to myself, and I need to do that in order to get stuff off my chest, herpa derp. 

Frustration levels high, in regards to the desire to actually write. I like writing, I like getting things out; I like writing in a journal so that I can actually say names and mention scenarios, but again… there is something neato about writing online. 

Anyway, I don’t understand why some people find it so difficult to understand where I am coming from, WHEN I’VE GIVEN THEM the time to even voice any of this. 

Weirdly enough, I don’t actually PRY, I am not nosy as all sin and hell; I am concerned and people know that, along with the fact I wear my heart on my sleeve. 

Just because all of that is known of me, it does not give people the right, or the assumption, to just take it on their own minds that I will gossip, and be disrespectful of the people in my life that I care for. 


I do apologize, actually no I don’t… 

What I meant to say is that I just didn’t mean for that to become a huge rant; just a venting session. That’s all. 

Anyway, I need to get a shower and have more tea made. The workers are still in the house for the renovations, and I won’t have the option for all the bathroom things tomorrow morning. Le sigh. Can’t wait for it to be finished, as it will be amazing. 


Alright. I took a small break – my own emotions were running high, and I needed to grab a shower. I am out now, and now I need to get more tea. I will let this stew out in the Universe and the interwebs for a little bit before coming back to it, or the blog. 




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