So, I am not too proud to admit that my husband and I got into a rather large argument this morning. I am hateful and he’s indifferent, it seems, and it lead to a huge blow up.
I’m still rather angry, not sad.
It makes me question faith and the role it plays in your relationships.
My husband is very atheist, he does believe there is a power that be, higher up, but he doesn’t give it a name, nor the faith to ever call upon it.
I know quite a few people, regardless of their path, that would sit me down and tell me that the argument was God’s plan, or supposed to happen, to weigh out how we deal with it.
I also know quite a few people that would just let it be and tell me that it’s both our own fault and we’re destined to get a divorce.
*rolls eyes* yes, I’ve had a few people try and urge me to get a divorce because we argue. I’d hate to see the couple that didn’t argue, but whatever.
Anyway, my question, is mainly – does one take solace in the fact that it may have happened for a reason? Or that it could’ve been helped in every way?
Being a Witch, part of something you vow to, is that you take fault for your own actions and then think on it, and find a way to fix it.
We had some misspoken words with the wrong attitude, but other than that, it got out of control quickly; I am seriously so hateful that I can’t stand to talk to anyone for fear that I am going to rip them a new face.
But truly, I feel like garbage. I feel lower than low, albeit still furious, but I really just want his arms around me, his lips on mine, tears or no tears from either of us.
Instead, I am sitting in the house alone as he had to go, doing laundry, and holding back tears, wondering if I can find any solace or contentment in my faith. By simply saying a little ditty to Cernunnos, will it make me any happier? Will it take away from the fact that I won’t talk to him until sometime tomorrow morning, possibly, because I work til midnight and then sleep when I get in, get up and spend enough time with him before he has to leave for the day?
Will it get any better if I keep sitting here talking about it? No.
None of it will make it better, unfortunately, because even my faith doesn’t hold its own candle next to how he can make me feel.
I will try to move past it, but this week has been a rough one anyway. Transit, period and cramps, nights and work dragging on, having to punish the cat because he won’t stop eating a damn broom, not being able to make a Brigid’s Cross or get things done for Imbolc.
Anyway, I need to go… It’s almost 1130am, and I need to make myself some grilled cheese, and shower, some more tea and make sure that I can get all my clothes put away.
Enjoy your Wednesday everyone.